On Deadly Ground: The Steven Seagal Drinking Game

On Deadly Ground: The Steven Seagal Drinking Game

A bit of a different post today, since this isn’t a review but a fun little game to play while watching any of Steven Seagal’s movies. Just a bit of a warning: following this guide to the letter will probably result in alcohol poisoning and death. You can take that to the bank…the blood bank! Your liver will be Under Siege, your hangover will be Hard to Kill, you’ll feel like there’s a Fire Down Below in your stomach and unless you are Above the Law, being in public would put you On Deadly Ground. And any rational thoughts will be Under Siege 2.
That’s enough of that. Sorry for some of them.
With that, here are the rules:

1. People’s Choice: Guess whether Steven will be sporting a pony tail for the upcoming movie. If you are wrong, take a drink.
2. If Seagal is shown wearing a ridiculous hat, take a drink.
3. If Seagal gets stabbed or shot, then shakes it off, take a drink.
4. If someone is thrown through glass, take a drink.
5. If there is a shot below the belt, take a drink.
6.If there is a subplot involving a prostitute, widow, or soon-to-be divorced wife, take a drink.
7. If a bad pun or one-liner is made, take a drink.
8. If the title of the movie is mentioned in passing, take a drink.
9. If music plays that does not fit the scene, take a drink.
10. If Steven overpowers over five men in less than a minute, finish your drink.
11. If there is an illogical wardrobe change, take a drink.
12. If Steven is shown to be wearing traditional Asian garb that he has no reason to be wearing, take a drink.
13. If you hear a bone break during a fight scene, take a drink.
14. If Steven speaks Italian or Japanese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Korean, etc., take a drink.
15. If Steven wields a katana, take a drink. If a katana is on display in the background somewhere, take half a drink.
16. If Steven commits police brutality, take a drink.
17. If Steven is shooting a scene with an exotic animal, take a drink.
18. If Steven sings or plays an instrument, take two drinks.
19. If Steven acts like a misogynist, then immediately becomes protective of the woman in any way, finish your drink.
20. If Steven can truthfully be described as “striking and boyishly handsome”, take two drinks.
Bonus for his Direct-to-DVD films: If Steven is clearly putting in a minimal amount of effort in his movements due to his poor physical condition, take half a drink (you’ll understand why it’s a half)


The Action Movie Review

Hello everyone,

Are you ready for pain? Are you ready for suffering? If the answer is ‘yes’, then you’re ready for Captain Freed-

Wait, that’s not right.

This blog exists for those of you who are like me; you love action movies from the 80s and 90s. You’ve seen Commando, Predator, Die Hard and The Delta Force too many times to count. But that’s not enough to sate you. This blog is going to (hopefully) regularly review the classic action movies and bring to light some hidden gems you may not be aware of.

But wait!  Maybe you’re only aware of Arnold’s illustrious film past by word of mouth and want to watch some of his masterpieces on your own. Or you only know Chuck Norris as a punchline and don’t really get the big deal about him. Well, I’ve got you covered too. I’ll provide quick ratings and spoiler-free reviews for those of you that want to know the essential action movies of the past so you can go on and experience them without anything being ruined.

So strap yourselves in, tighten up your bandana, cock your impossibly large firearm that never needs to be reloaded and enjoy.